A former footballer turned motivational speaker has written a book about social anxiety.
Matt Lacey, who played for the New Zealand national team from 2005 to 2008, was diagnosed with social phobia in the early 2000s.
“It was like a physical thing that I could not talk about, it wasn’t just an anxiety thing,” he said.
“I didn’t have a problem with talking about the pain of having a job or living in a big house.
It was just this physical thing, that’s it.”
When I got to that stage, I didn’t even want to talk about it.
So it was a bit like, I’m not going to talk to anyone about it, it’s not fair.
“Lacey spent three years working on his book, and said it’s a “cure for social anxiety” and offers practical advice for people who may struggle with social interactions.”
People talk about the social aspects of life, but social anxiety is a much deeper thing, it is a real fear of being alone and people can have the same fear, the same panic that I had,” he explained.”
So it’s actually not just a physical anxiety.
You also have a fear of social interaction, it could be a fear that you’re not going anywhere or people will find out about it or people are going to think that you have a mental health problem.
“Those things are all part of the anxiety.”
He said social anxiety was a “very real thing”, and he said he had struggled with social issues for many years before he got the book out.
“But it was very different from anything else I had dealt with before,” he wrote in the book.
“Social anxiety is actually a very real thing.
It’s a real anxiety, a physical feeling.”
If you don’t deal with it properly, it can become a very serious anxiety.
“Lacy said social phobic people tend to be in their 20s and 30s, and they are often lonely and isolated.”
In the social anxiety community, it was just the other side of the coin, there were other people in my life who had social anxiety too,” he told 7.30.”
You know, they had other issues and they were all suffering from it, but they weren’t alone.
“He believes social anxiety can be “a much more insidious thing” because it can take a person by surprise.”
Some people don’t know what to say, they might be shy and they might have an insecurity that they’re not strong enough to speak up,” he added.”
And that can be the root of the problem, people get so scared of speaking up that they can’t even think about what they’re saying.
“There are so many people out there who suffer from social anxiety.”
The social dilemmasLacey said social anxieties were often caused by loneliness and isolation.
“A lot of people I worked with, their relationships were really good.
They didn’t need to worry about things, they didn’t care about anything and they could just sit around and be happy,” he continued.”
They weren’t looking for any support, they were just like, this is it.
So when I got that, that was the biggest thing, was the fact that they weren